Relationships can be such a huge part of our lives, no matter our gender identity, sexuality, or sexual preference. While there are many things that can affect whether we have a happy partnership from believing in ‘The One’ to our attachment style), there are some behaviours that just shouldn’t be present in a healthy relationship.
“Everyone has arguments, and everyone disagrees with their partners, family members and others close to them from time to time,” Katie Ghose, Chief Executive of Women’s Aid, says, “but if this begins to form a consistent pattern, if it starts to make you feel intimidated, controlled or fearful, then it’s a sign that you could be in an abusive relationship.”
Katie adds, “Taken in isolation, some of the behaviours may seem like small or harmless acts, but together they make up a repeated pattern of behaviour that is frightening and upsetting.” Here’s her advice on the behaviours to look out for.
1. Your partner shouts, mocks, accuses, calls you names or threatens you verbally.
2. They threaten to withhold money from you or take your phone or laptop away.
3. They persistently put you down in front of others.
4. They withhold information from you, lie, break promises, are jealous or have other relationships.
5. They monitor your phone calls, texts, emails and social media accounts.
6. They follow or check up on you, embarrass you in public or go everywhere with you.
7. They make angry gestures (like punching walls), intimidate you using their physical size, break your possessions. They threaten to hurt or kill you, either with or without a weapon.
8. They use threats or intimidation to force you to perform sex acts. They constantly pressure you into having sex when you don’t want to.
9. They are physically violent whether that’s punching, slapping, biting, kicking, pinching, pushing, restraining you or pulling your hair out.
10. They deny any of the above happens, or say you caused it to happen. They say they can’t control their anger, they beg you to forgive them and cry while promising it will never happen again.
11. They (unjustly) accuse you of flirting with other people or being unfaithful.
12. They try to tell you where you can and can’t go, or try to stop you from seeing people you care about including friends and family.
13. They pressure you to use drugs and other substances.
14. When you talk, they either don’t listen or don’t respond.
15. They refuse to help with household chores or childcare.
16. They threaten to self-harm or attempt suicide.
Source: UK Cosmo