Sex is not just about the man alone, women too have sexual needs. Failing to acknowledge this has led to many women feeling sexually starved and frustrated.
What do you do as a wife when your husband doesn’t last an erection, doesn’t make to love to you to your satisfaction, thinks only about his sexual needs or doesn’t make love to you as often?
1. Don’t cheat
Do not break your marriage just because you are looking for an orgasm. Another man’s penis cannot compare to the full package of your husband
2. Praise his penis
A man is most vulnerable when he lets you have his penis. When you make him feel good about it, he will sexually approach you with confidence. It is an ego thing
3. Master his penis and body
Different men have different sensation points. Study his body to make his arousal maximum so that he uses it to give you pleasure
4. Build friendship and non-sexual intimacy
Love making is easier, sweeter and more intense when you two have a strong emotional connection. Don’t be strangers who only come together for sex
5. Spend more time
The more quality time, the more sex
6. Flirt with him over the phone
When you randomly flirt with each other, you heighten your sexual compatibility
7. Check if he has a history of masturbation
A man who has engaged in alot of porn and or masturbation might struggle to hold an erection or, his mind might register pleasure as that got using his hand, not a vagina. Tell him “Honey, you have me, keep your hand away from the penis that I am to satisfy”
8. Have the sex talk
Be safe and free with each other to talk about anything sexual
9. Avoid masturbation
Masturbation will take your concentration away from your husband making you need him less
10. Attend to his sexual fantasies
When you cater to him, he will be more responsive to cater to you. Don’t be that woman who just lies naked in bed wanting to be done
11. Reveal to him the secrets of your body
You are the one who knows how you like pleasure served. Tell him how to please you
12. Know that some women take long to get to the o zone
Know your body. Some women take long to get wet or even get to an orgasm. If you are that kind of a woman, make him feel good and compliment what he does to and in your body to encourage him
13. Don’t entertain other men
Once your husband perceives or knows you are giving attention to other men or another man, he will be less interested to make love to you
14. Avoid stressing him
Sex starts in the mind. When you give your husband no peace, constantly complain and give him pressure, his penis will find it difficult to get hard for you or even want you
15. Seduce him
Be sexually assertive. Don’t just wait for him to make a move, he is there to satisfy you. When you’re in the mood, let him know he is needed for service
16. Don’t play mind games
Don’t fake a headache, bang doors, lie you are on your periods, act like you don’t need him and push him away today then the next day you want him to make passionate love to you. Some wives confuse their husbands with their hot then cold behaviour
17. Communicate your needs and desires
He is not a mind reader, let him know what is on your mind
18. Work on your foreplay and hindplay together
Foreplay is the art of building up pleasure before sexual intercourse through touching, rubbing, licking, sucking or whatever does it for you as a couple. Hindplay is how you two make each other feel special after the climax through cuddling, kissing, a prayer or words of affection. This makes love making memorable
19. Don’t mock him or embarrass him to your friends
Never attack your husband’s sexual ability or the size or look of his penis to himself or to others, this will discourage him in bed
20. Don’t mock other men going through what he is going through
When you attack men who don’t last as long in bed, he will see it as an indirect attack on him
21. Learn to help him relax and hold an erection
Some men just need a little help to control the excitement of an incoming orgasm. Teach him to control the muscles in his penis by pausing the pumping action or withdrawing when he feels an orgasm is coming
22. Stop overthinking
You might be difficult to please sexually because when your husband is making love to you, you are busy thinking about whether your vagina is tight enough, whether your breasts are that attractive, whether your vagina has a foul smell, whether your children have done their homework, whether you gave your boss that very important file or whether your favourite supermarket still has that sale on the ceramic plates. Relax and enjoy being pleasured
23. Seek counselling
This will help you two to understand each other better. Akello and I take couples through a guide including sex quiz for husbands and wives to help couples nourish their intimacy
24. Be patient
Sex is an art, and practice make perfect. In marriage, two different bodies are coming together to know each other. The sex today may not be so great, but as you patiently interact physically, sexually, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, it will get better. Don’t panic
