• About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Photo Gallery
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Citi TV
Tuesday, December 5, 2023
Citinewsroom - Comprehensive News in Ghana
  • Home
  • News
  • Business
  • Sports
  • Showbiz
  • Opinion
  • Infographics
  • Listen To CitiFM
  • Watch Citi TV
  • Videos
No Result
View All Result
Citinewsroom - Comprehensive News in Ghana
  • Home
  • News
  • Business
  • Sports
  • Showbiz
  • Opinion
  • Infographics
  • Listen To CitiFM
  • Watch Citi TV
  • Videos
No Result
View All Result
Citinewsroom - Comprehensive News in Ghana
No Result
View All Result

Asor letters: Is dating really practicing divorce ?

August 18, 2022
Reading Time: 4 mins read
ShareShareShareShare

Dear Sakyia,

Let me commend you on the beautiful letter that you wrote to me the last time. I am glad to know that Facebook, WhatsApp and the other messaging apps have not really succeeded in taking away your ability to put pen to paper to write long-winding letters like I used to do during my secondary school days.

Anyway, I have watched the video you talked about in your letter, where Pastor Mike Todd stated that the word ‘dating’ is not in the Bible. He basically concluded that engaging in a series of dating prepares one to learn how to divorce. I can understand your confusion on whether dating is good or bad owing to this statement. However, I do not think his concentration was on the merits of dating but on how it should be done. He encouraged young people to engage in ‘intentional dating’ where they get to know each other with God at the center. In inference, there is meaningless dating and intentional dating.

This brings to mind something Counselor Lutterodt said about the possibility of dating a number of people simultaneously in order to choose the one that best fits. People berated him as usual but that was when I got to know that there was a difference between dating someone and being in a relationship with someone. People go on dates to get to know each other by mostly talking about their fears, passions, plans etc. in order to assess each other’s eligibility for a committed and intimate relationship in the future.

On Pastor Mike’s reference to dating being a stage for practicing divorce, you said that you disagreed with him but let me tell you a story that may affirm that statement. I have a friend called Ana who has been in quite a number of relationships. Some lasted long, others lasted as short as the President of Umuofia. After years of watching and listening to her talk about her failed relationships, I realized that it had gotten easier for her to walk away from them, although she seemed oblivious to it.

It became normal to complain about what was wrong with the guys and justify why she could not continue the relationship or even consider marriage to them. If it wasn’t shy Essien finding it difficult to properly string English words together to form a coherent sentence, it was Muntari who was being hotheaded and short-tempered with her. When Dumelo was too handsome that she was afraid that he would cheat on her, Lilwyn’s ‘bulging’ eyes were too scary for her to introduce him to her family. I should have placed a bet on how long it would take for her to leave the man with the small penis, erm whatever his name was; I would have been a billionaire by now.

Eventually she settled down with Oppong and I still laugh whenever I remember their wedding hashtag, #opana2021. She did not want to be left out of the trend of hashtags such as #kency2020, #eviani2021 and the very latest one, #francey22. I was happy that she had finally found true love, but guess what? She has started threatening divorce because she says her husband has changed. Apparently, he does not give her attention anymore, nor does he support her dream of becoming a lawyer anymore because he claims that legal education in Ghana is too expensive. On the face of it, I would say that the Pastor was right because instead of Ana working to find solutions to the problem, her first reflex is to suggest divorce because walking away is what she is used to.

Conversely, there is my cousin Nyamekye. We nicknamed her ‘one week celebration’, you know why? Because most of her relationships lasted for just one week. Today, Nyamekye is in one of the most enduring marriages I have ever seen and she’s still going strong. She always jokes that divorce is not in her dictionary. So Sakyia you see, there is no black or white template where this subject is concerned.

Moreover, if we are to take the stance that dating is bad because it unconsciously teaches us how to walk away from ‘bad’ relationships, then we might have to go back to Bethlehem where people were being betrothed like Joseph and Mary or opt for arranged marriages.

As you have decided to start dating, know that you would meet all sorts of people. The temptation to move from Agya Adu to Caleb will be there, especially if things don’t seem to be working out; after all there are many fishes in the sea, right? Also know that you might have to kiss frogs and antelopes before finding your prince. Unless you strike gold like the Nigerian actress Omotola, who got married from her first relationship, this is the kind of experience you would have to go through before settling down. This must not make you afraid to go out there and make good or bad choices. Indeed, how will you even know unless you try?

In my view, there is no guarantee that even if you do this “intentional dating” the pastor talked about, you can get to know all the surfaces and depths of a person. Again, there’s no guarantee that you will get the ring if you are able to perform the Lufthansa or Wheelbarrow styles in bed. You are still young; love and allow yourself to be loved. If something is fixable, fix it because ‘nowhere cool’; however, do not live all your life trying to fix something that is broken beyond repairs.

Always remember that life has got a mind of its own but at the end of the day, we would be presented with choices and you must necessarily choose. If it goes well, hallelujah; if it doesn’t go well…

Do you know the kind of songs that I listen to when it gets all confusing?  Heaven Knows by Osibisa says, “…we will get there, heaven knows how we will get there, we know we will…” or the equally soul-satisfying words of Doris Day and Frank De Vol ‘Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be…’

Have fun figuring it out my dear. It will all be well.

 

 

ShareTweetSendSend
Previous Post

Buffer Stock has started supplying food to SHSs nationwide – Adutwum

Next Post

A lucrative new African football league is coming: the pros and cons

Related Posts

Will Smith and I have been separated since 2016 – Jada Pinkett reveals

October 11, 2023
Audio on Demand

Famlife: Causes, Implications and Solutions on Divorce | Saturday, 30th April, 2022

April 30, 2022
International

Former Ivory Coast President Laurent Gbagbo files for divorce

June 22, 2021
International

Bill Gates and wife announce divorce after 27 years

May 3, 2021
Relationship

Asor‌ ‌Letters:‌ ‌Get‌ ‌out‌ ‌of‌ ‌that‌ ‌abusive‌ ‌relationship!‌ ‌

September 15, 2020
Relationship

Asor Letters: My jealous ‘Friend with Benefits’

May 12, 2020
Next Post
Zouhair El Moutaraji celebrates Morocco’s Wydad AC winning at the Caf Champions League in 2022.
AFP via Getty Images

A lucrative new African football league is coming: the pros and cons

TOP STORIES

Allegations against me false – Dismissed Judge reacts

December 5, 2023

AG seeks more jail term for Aisha Huang; vows to appeal judgement

December 5, 2023

Traders at Kumasi Central Market stranded after private developer seizes trading area

December 5, 2023
Load More
ADVERTISEMENT
Citinewsroom - Comprehensive News in Ghana

CitiNewsroom.com is Ghana's leading news website that delivers high quality innovative, alternative news that challenges the status quo.

Archives

Download App

Download

Download

  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Photo Gallery
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Citi TV

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Citi Newsroom.

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • News
  • Business
  • Sports
  • Showbiz
  • Opinion
  • Infographics
  • Listen To CitiFM
  • Watch Citi TV
  • Videos

© 2023 All Rights Reserved Citi Newsroom.

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
Cookie SettingsAccept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT